Crucial Indicators Of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder In Adults And Children

Crucial Indicators Of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder In Adults And Children

By Robert Janes

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Effective ADHD Treatments

It is the most common neurodevelopmental condition affecting 11% of children. Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD) is characterized by inattention, impulsivity, and hyperactivity.

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) affects approximately 3.3 million adults and one million children in the United States. This disorder usually begins in childhood and adolescence as obsessions that cause anxiety, resulting in repetitive behaviors and actions called compulsions. OCD is diagnosed by a doctor’s assessment of the patient’s symptoms, which are the ritual behaviors and the time that the patient spends on them. If an individual is experiencing symptoms, it is essential to consult a mental health professional for evaluation and treatment.

Learn about these symptoms now.

What Are The Common Obsessions?

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Obsession is an idea or thought that preoccupies the mind. In patients with obsessive-compulsive disorder, obsessions can come in many different forms that result in compulsive rituals. Common obsessions found in patients who suffer from OCD include fear of dirt and germs, needing to have everything symmetrical and exact, as well as a need for perfection. However, there are also obsessive thoughts attributed to OCD, and these may include thoughts or fear of accidentally harming oneself or others and forbidden or unwanted thoughts of sexual behavior. These obsessions take up a great deal of the patient’s time, an hour or more every day, causing distress and interfering with the patient’s daily functions.

Consider compulsions and rituals in obsessive-compulsive disorder next.



What Are Compulsions And Rituals?
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Compulsions are the actions or rituals performed by patients with OCD as a result of their obsessions. A common compulsion is excessive washing or cleaning; this may include washing hands, brushing teeth, showering, or even cleaning compulsions and rituals when cleaning the bathroom or kitchen. Other compulsions include ordering or arranging items in specific ways, checking doors and locks to make sure everything is safe, and counting, touching, tapping or rubbing objects in a certain way. Compulsions also include mental rituals, which include saying prayers or trying to replace bad images or thoughts with good ones. A mental routine may be repeated over and over again until the patient feels okay and safe.


Keep reading for more information on the symptoms of obsessive-compulsive disorder now.




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Symptoms Of OCD
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The symptoms typically found in patients with obsessive-compulsive disorder vary on a case to case basis, depending on the individual and the situation. However, it can be noted the signs are the compulsions caused by the obsessive fears, feelings, and urges. Some symptoms include a change in behavior and feelings of anxiety, depression, shame or anger. Sometimes patients may have physical symptoms such as shortness of breath, headaches, dizziness, stomach aches, muscle tension, or a racing heart.


If a patient believes they may have OCD, they will need to be assessed by a mental health professional. The diagnosis of obsessive-compulsive disorder is if the patient’s obsession consumes more than an hour per day of their time.


Uncover the various causes linked to obsessive-compulsive disorder now.






What Are The Causes Of OCD?
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General Facts About Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
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The World Health Organization ranked obsessive-compulsive disorder as one of the top twenty most disabling diseases worldwide for individuals between fifteen and forty-four years old. In the United States, OCD affects one in every one-hundred children, as well as one in every forty adults. Obsessive-compulsive disorder affects approximately 2.5 percent of individuals over their lifetime and is equally diagnosed in men and women. However, men are more likely to develop OCD during childhood.


The illness has an average onset of nineteen years old. However, doctors have reported symptoms in children under two years old. Children with OCD may have comorbid disorders such as attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), anxiety disorders, and depression.




Like other mental illnesses, the direct cause of OCD is not yet fully understood. However, studies have proven a combination of biological and environmental factors may contribute to the cause of the illness. It is proven that obsessive-compulsive disorder is hereditary, and individuals with first degree relatives who have it are five times more likely to develop the disorder. However, inheritance is not the only cause of OCD. Many environmental factors can trigger obsessive-compulsive disorder or worsen the symptoms of a patient who suffers from it. Some environmental factors may include abuse, illness, death of a loved one, and changes or problems in a relationship, work or school.


Continue reading to learn about OCD in children and adolescents next.







OCD In Children And Adolescents
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It is estimated that one in every one hundred children suffer from obsessive-compulsive disorder, which usually begins between the ages of seven and twelve years old. However, it can be challenging to diagnose a child suffering from OCD as it is common for toddlers and young children to have some form of rituals and superstitions. It is essential to monitor and assess children to determine whether or not they have obsessive-compulsive disorder. For children diagnosed with OCD, themes of harm and contamination are the most common obsessions. Therefore caution should be taken if they are obsessing over their loved ones getting hurt or ill, or if they are avoiding things that might make them dirty or contact germs and bacteria, as well as excessively washing their hands.


Get familiar with the treatments and prevention options for obsessive-compulsive disorder
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Treatments And Preventative Measures For OCD
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There is no cure for OCD, but early diagnosis and treatment can limit the amount of time a patient obsesses over their rituals each day. Relief can come through cognitive behavior therapy (CBT), sometimes paired with antidepressant medications. CBT is a combination of exposure and response therapy (ERP) and cognitive therapy (CT). ERP begins with the therapist designing exposures and challenges to put children in situations to trigger obsessions. During the exposures, children must avoid performing their compulsive rituals for more extended periods. CT is the second technique involved in cognitive behavioral therapy. It helps children with identifying and modifying thoughts that can cause anxiety and stress. Stress management goes a long way with treating obsessive-compulsive disorder, as better managing stress levels can reduce the severity and frequency of symptoms. Forty to sixty percent of OCD patients respond well to selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs). Of those who do, forty to fifty percent see a reduction in their symptoms.


Reveal general facts about obsessive-compulsive disorder next.

Why is my child obsessed with winning?

Why is my child obsessed with winning?
November 15, 2018

EVERYTHING’S SUDDENLY COMPETITIVE. 

LANCE GRANDAHL ON UNSPLASH


The four-year-old had to be first.

At breakfast, he had to be first to finish his cereal. At bedtime, he had to be first up the stairs. He had to be first in the garage, first out of the car, first to open the door, first into the elevator.

He did not want to be the first to sleep, but he had to be the first one awake.

The sudden competitive streak wasn’t all that surprising, but the emotional response to losing these contests was. Tantrums if Mom finished her drink first, if Dad got to the light switch first, and if the U.S. marble lost in the marble race world Grand Prix.

Out of concern for both his emotional stability and his creeping nativism, I started reading up on childhood competitiveness. A quick Google search identified the root cause: only children are competitive because they are used to getting their own way. But then again, youngest siblings tend to be competitive out of concern for last being least. But then again again, oldest siblings can feel displaced when so much attention is lavished on younger, needier, siblings, encouraging sibling rivalry that leads to competition.

The explanations got muddier from there. A competitive child must be a sign that parents are putting too much pressure on their success. Or a competitive child is being neglected at home and competes at school for reassurance. Or a child has certainly experienced a trauma with long-reaching consequences. Or a child should be evaluated for autism. Or a child just isn’t sleeping enough and is grumpy and acting out.

When there are so many “obvious” causes of a problem, I question whether that problem is actually a problem.

Kids’ winning obsessions can be explained by a confluence of events. Young kids are egocentric, the center of their universes. But they’re also attending school for the first time, which means being constantly confronted with evidence that they are not the center of the universe. They have more opportunities to compare and find themselves wanting. The schools themselves are increasingly standards-focused, which may further stimulate kids to “win” at school.

Confident that we didn’t have a problem so much as a 24/7 in-home game show network, I started searching for losing strategies. I’ve found three ways to help my son cultivate a losing attitude.
Teach about types of competitions

Joanna Faber and Julie King’s How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen, which has recently humbled me about my response to tantrums, is also helping me think through this competitive streak. When parents write something down, kids see that their concerns are being taken seriously. Writing also takes time, which allows space to cool off from whatever perceived injustice has just occurred.

In my experience, this strategy tends to work best when I don’t know where I’m going. I just start writing, trusting that we’ll come up with an imperfect but workable and maybe even inspiring idea by the time we’re done. So when my son started screaming after I dared finish my snack first, I tossed my crumbs and picked up a notebook:

Times when it is fun to compete
a soccer game
a marble race tournament
a story contest

My son joined me on the couch to see what I was doing and he added his ideas:

an eating contest — Jell-O or hot dogs
playing Yeti in My Spaghetti
playing waffle vs. jaguar
playing Mario Kart
running a half marathon
a science fair
a boxcar derby
a snowball fight
Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me
football game
baseball game
basketball game
hockey game
Olympics

Satisfied with those entries, we started on a new list:
Times when it wasn’t fun to compete
who can eat breakfast first
who’s down the stairs first
getting ready for pick-up before Mama gets to the classroom
being first out of the classroom
being last out of the classroom
going up the stairs in order
going into the house first

This was one of those magic moments when the pattern seemed clear. During the times when it is fun to compete, everybody agrees to compete: every kid submits a story, every player joins a team, every comedian goes to the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago. During the times when competition wasn’t fun, people had not agreed to compete: mom didn’t want to rush through breakfast, dad didn’t want to run on the stairs, teachers wanted kids to leave the classroom without causing bodily harm.

This was a good start, and could help us cut down on the everyday competitions that were driving us crazy. But the list was incomplete. Some people are sad even when the competition is supposed to be fun, like falling down the really long chute or making the Yeti fall into his bowl. And for that, I needed a different strategy.
Let him lose

Looking back over the past few months, I see all the small ways I’ve been letting our Wookie win.

At breakfast, instead of telling my mini Kobayashi that I wasn’t willing to compete, I just reminded him that tea was part of my breakfast and tea would take the whole morning to finish. I instinctively paused on the last stair to avoid meltdowns on the landing. When he tantrummed after losing at Uncle Wiggly, I put Uncle Wiggly on the top shelf of the closet, along with Chutes and Ladders, Jenga, and Gobblet Gobblers.

Losing graciously is a skill, and like all skills, mastery requires practice. I realized I needed to give him that practice by creating more opportunities to lose. I moved all the board games back within reach and added a few new ones to the collection. We’ve practiced how to be a good winner, mixing “yay”s with "Wow, you were so close!” and “That game was really fun!”

I also wanted to teach my son that sometimes we know we will lose even before we start playing, but that there is more to some games than winning or losing. As I prepared to run my first half-marathon earlier this fall, I told him I knew I wouldn’t come in first, or even 100th, or even 1000th, but that I was going to race anyway because I was racing to challenge myself, not other people.

His response? “Maybe if you run again a few times you’ll get better and come in first.”

Clearly, we still had some work to do. And for that, we needed to look at losing in a wider context.
Share my “failure resume”

In How to Raise an Adult, Julie Lythcott-Hains sits in on friend and psychologist Madeline Levine’s talk about over-parenting. Parents know that their own success came from a “circuitous” path. But kids, Levine claims, tend to view their parents’ successes as straightforward: “They don’t know how you struggled and failed; it’s the biggest secret we keep from our kids. Our kids need to hear the everyday challenges that we have. We ought to share what our trajectory was, particularly when that includes failure.”

A recent episode of Without Fail gave me a useful framework for sharing that trajectory with my son. Nina Jacobson shares the highlights of her “failure resume,” the missed opportunities, professional blunders, and firings that have punctuated her impressive career in film. (You may have heard of some of her earlier work, like, say, The Sixth Sense, The Pirates of the Caribbean and Crazy Rich Asians.)

My failure resume includes kitchen disasters, driving tests, and graduate study, all issues I’m not sure my son was ready to relate to. But I could talk about recent writing failures and how I dealt with them. I started by reading him a rejection letter from an editor, and he sat with me as I typed a quick response thanking her for the feedback. I shared an e-mail from a snackdinner reader pointing out some seriously confusing typos, and let him “help” me make the edits. These failures are hardly life-changing existential crises, but they’re a window into the small setbacks of daily life. I hope that, by failing graciously, I can help him learn to do the same.

7 Reasons : Why you should be Obsessed with Winning

7 Reasons : Why you should be Obsessed with Winning


After reading news from Olympics 2016, I started pondering upon winning. So, what is winning by the way? Like everybody else, I did the easiest I could do find out – googled it!

Winning is an outcome. Looks like more people are on the side of, “Winning is not everything, doing the best you can is.” I disagree. Winning is everything. It might not be the only thing, but it is everything (if you’re playing). Who doesn’t know that ‘Winners take it all!”.So, saying winning is everything actually mean outcome is everything. And the outcome is the result of effort, intensity, and determination.




“Play to win, or don’t play at all.” Nobody plays to lose !

When one is playing to win, the only way to win is to push oneself little extra – probably beyond his/her potential and capacity. Before you pump yourself up for winning, here is the first principle of winning:
Don’t complain if you lose. Deal with it appropriately. And be back again to win. Better, stronger, faster!

7 reasons you should be obsessed with winning

Rewards :



The whole world is for you if you make it. All the medals, trophies, pride, joy, satisfaction and glory is for you. The people who do not know the day yesterday becomes a fan of yours the day you win. Who doesn’t know what Indian Cricket Team did to India by winning the world cup in 1983? Since then, cricket became a religion to the masses.

Satisfaction:

Winning gives you satisfaction. After all, all your intense efforts and hard work reached its end. After all, this is what you wanted. After all, this is what you worked so hard in the dark. Some people argues, “Winning never produces permanent satisfaction.” The only permanent thing in life is death. For everything else is temporary.



Think about satisfaction from sex, is it permanent? Should it be permanent? What about food? Is the pleasure that comes from eating delicious food is permanent?

Boost in confidence :

After winning, you never remain same. Believe it or not, you’re a winner now. And this fact changes all your self-image. In Zig Ziglar’s ‘See you at the top’, one of the critical steps to reaching the top is ‘How you see yourself’.



And once you have won, the way you see yourself changes forever. Maybe this is one of the reason, we have seen so many athletes being able to win again and again.

Performing beyond your potential:
When someone is obsessed with winning, he/she doesn’t stay limited by their resources. You push yourself hard to match up against what you’re standing. You try to become better, stronger and faster. You don’t complain. You don’t see yourself as limited by your perceived potential.


Power to do more, be more and win more:

Since now you have won once, you can do it again.
The #winner does not just #win the #rewards, they win a special power of #influence. CLICK TO TWEET

Winner achieves the power to shape the entire industry! Think about what would have happened if Google could not become a winner in search business? Would it be able to ship one of the most loved browser ‘chrome’ and smartphone OS like Android? You have to win some, to win more.


Better, Faster, Stronger, More:

Winning doesn’t leave you as you were. Winning doesn’t appreciate that you put in your best efforts. It demands more. It requires you to be better, faster and stronger. It pushes to your edge of limit – and even beyond that!


Glory:

The great pride you can live your life with. The honor of achievements – of winnings. After a decade, when you’ll look back and remember that ‘I was a winner’. Imagine the feeling that will gush to your mind. The sense of performing better than everybody else in that context.
Participating is a choice. And if you make a choice to participate and play – make sure you become obsessed with winning. When everybody is playing to win, it makes a good show. Give us a good show!


“Winning is everything, to win is all there is. Only those poor souls buried beneath the battlefield understand this.” Navy SEAL saying

Kids Who Just Gotta Win

Kids Who Just Gotta Win

School-age kids are competitive by nature. Teach them how to have fun -- and be a good sport.

By Karen Horsch
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Kids and Competition

My 7-year-old son, Carl, is obsessed with winning. No matter what we do -- sports, board games, even getting dressed in the morning -- it's a competition. Nothing makes him happier than to shout "I win!"

Why do 6- to 8-year-olds turn everything into a contest? For one thing, they are developing new physical skills (such as shooting a basketball) and analytical abilities (such as learning to think ahead in checkers), so it's only natural to want to show them off. At the same time, they're starting to take an interest in what other people can do too. "Kids this age look around and compare who got more smiley faces on their homework, who scored more goals, and who won in Monopoly Junior," explains Marty Ewing, PhD, a sports psychologist at Michigan State University, in East Lansing. They know that winning brings rewards -- and losing doesn't.

Some competition isn't necessarily a bad thing. Seeing what others can achieve challenges kids to try harder. As they improve at a game or a sport, children also gain self-confidence. But a competitive streak can easily spin out of control: A child may start to do anything -- cheat, change the rules, or argue -- to avoid losing. And over time, a kid with a win-at-all-costs attitude may find he has fewer friends to hang out with. Even family members might avoid playing games with him in order to avoid the drama of it all.

Why Winning Becomes Everything

Your child's personality has a lot to do with how she approaches competition -- some kids thrive on it, while others shy away. But the biggest factor of all is your attitude.

Children observe how the adults in their lives respond to their victories and defeats, says Rae Pica, author of A Running Start: How Play, Physical Activity, and Free Time Create a Successful Child. If you get annoyed when your child misses a goal, or you constantly compare his performance to that of other children, your child may feel that he'll only get your approval by being better than everyone else. The result of this pressure: a kid who will try to win at all costs or who'll quit trying altogether.

Help your child understand that winning isn't everything by emphasizing the real goal -- simply doing your best. Instead of saying "Did you win?" or "What was your grade?" ask "Did you have fun?" or "What did you learn?" Praise the effort, not the result. And be specific in your comments, such as complimenting a strong kick or an amazing catch. "Just saying 'good job' is not enough," says Pica.

How to Raise a Good Sport

Despite your best efforts, your child may still become hypercompetitive. If that's the case, here's how to tone down his attitude.

Play by the rules. When you're competing against your child in a game of Boggle or a swimming race, use the opportunity to teach him how to win -- and lose -- graciously. While it's tempting to throw the game, doing so will cause him to devalue his victories. Don't let him bend the rules, either, though there's nothing wrong with adapting a game to help your child develop his skills. If you're playing Ping-Pong, you might give your child an extra serve when he first starts playing. As long as you agree on any rule changes at the beginning, it's fair play.

Help her set goals. Encourage your child to compete against herself, not others. Ask how many dribbles she can do in 60 seconds or how many tennis shots she can hit in a row. This will give her the satisfaction of seeing real progress and might curb her intensity when she plays against others.

Switch activities. If your child takes winning too seriously, look for activities that emphasize skill-building over scorekeeping, such as martial arts, bicycling, and dancing.

Don't tolerate poor sportsmanship. Teach your child to control his emotions whether he loses or wins, and be ready with consequences when he doesn't. Gena Zehner, of Baltimore, puts her 7-year-old son, Dakota, in the "penalty box" when he throws a fit about losing a board game. "He's slowly learned that it's okay to lose sometimes," says Zehner. A winner who gloats is just as bad. Some sports leagues require a postgame lineup where opposing teammates high-five each other. Institute the same no-gloating policy at home: A heartfelt "good game" should be the ritual ending to any competition. The point is to make good sportsmanship part of the rules for every game.
Dealing with Disappointment

Here's how to help your child be gracious in defeat.

Scenario: Your child loses at Blokus for the third time in a row and storms out of the room.

What to do: Once you've given her a few minutes to calm down, acknowledge her frustration. Then point out how much she has improved since she started playing.

Scenario: Your child strikes out twice in a Little League game and feels like a flop.

What to do: Ask him whether he'd like to go to the park and practice his hitting with you before his next game. Remind him that even Hall of Famers strike out a lot of the time.

Scenario: Your child tries very hard in soccer but never scores a goal.

What to do: Congratulate her effort, and draw her attention to positive things she did on the field (such as making a good pass).
There Are No Losers

Tone down your child's competitive streak by encouraging activities that promote cooperation, sharing, and teamwork.
Art projects. Get out paints (or clay) and have everyone make a mural or a sculpture together.

Dance party. Make a mix of kid faves, then have your child and her friends take turns showing off their moves.

Science lab. Take a bunch of kids for a nature walk, or set up a kitchen-science experiment.

Drama. Fill a box with old costumes and props, and have the group put on an improvisational show.

By Karen Horsch
PARENTS MAGAZINE

Our Culture Is Obsessed With Winning

Our Culture Is Obsessed With Winning
April 21, 2017

Lisa Kentgen, Ph.D.



Our culture is obsessed with winning: just look at the amount of money cities invest in sports teams. If parents could operate like sports franchises, writing off investments in their children's education, imagine the immense potential that would be unlocked for developing our country's young minds.

A reverence for winners favors a narrow outcome over desirable personal qualities and long term solutions. This obsession confuses striving for excellence with a drive to stand out compared to others.

Healthy competition, which inherently has a playful quality, encourages persistence, skill building, and teamwork. When winning becomes the primary focus, however, it is no longer healthy. It becomes, almost inevitably, a losing strategy.
Here are four reasons why placing the emphasis on winning does not serve our highest aspirations.

This obsession fosters unhealthy relationships. The motivation to win values the self (or a proxy for the self) above others, inescapably inhibiting cooperation. This limited view cannot appreciate others for who they are and for what they bring to the table. In such an environment, everyone's skills and resources are grossly underutilized. A primary goal of winning discourages a generative meeting of the minds.

A culture of winning wastes valuable resources. It generates energy and passion. But, like eating junk food, the cravings are only temporarily alleviated. We get a hit of winning, and the glow of it soon passes. The hunger for the win itself leads to an inability to see the forest through the trees; and the big picture is lost. A strong, thriving culture views the whole as greater than the sum of its parts. A win/lose paradigm simply cannot promote a champion culture.

An exclusive focus on winning narrowly defines self-worth. The only way to prove our worth is dependent upon a narrow outcome. This creates a fear-driven, "us vs. them", worldview. Within a position of strength, by contrast, everyone is encouraged to be their best. Our self-worth is a given and we are more likely to act in ways that will make a lasting impact.

Finally, an unhealthy fixation on winning promotes short-term gains at the expense of long-term solutions. Great leaders are developed and complex problems are solved by adeptly moving through gray areas. Masterful problem-solvers view setbacks as inevitable and do not define them as failures. A singular focus on winning is black-or-white, either/or: and maybe that is why the paradigm is so compelling. This fixation can bring temporary comfort and the illusion of strength. But, ultimately, it does not produce lasting gains.

Let's enjoy the passionate showdowns of our beloved sports teams. But, for the health of our country, let's not mistake that kind of competition for an effective way to approach the most urgent problems we face today.

Winners Are Obsessed With One Thing And It Isn’t Winning

Winners Are Obsessed With One Thing And It Isn’t Winning

Why The “Least Likely To Succeed” Always Wins

Paul Scott Jr
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Jul 2, 2018 · 6 min read


Photo by Z H on Unsplash

History is littered with inventors who had “great” ideas but kept them quiet and then poorly executed them. And history is lit up with do-ers who took ideas that were floating around in the ether and actually made something happen. In fact, just about every successful venture is based on an unoriginal idea, beautifully executed. — Seth Godin

Some of the most pessimistic people were once optimists that were obsessed with winning. All they could think about was tasting the “gold”.

They did just enough work to get the outcome they wanted, but they never “landed on the shore”. Someone less talented than them made it to where they wanted to be because of the people they knew.

Although this may be true, this isn’t the complete reason for their success.

People who win, know that they’re going to win from the start — or at least they’re mostly optimistic about achieving success than they are about failing.

No one likes to feel the sting of failure. The shame that comes with it is almost unbearable. Most people give up and throw in the towel altogether, because they just can’t disassociate the pain of failure from the root cause of why things didn’t go the way they planned.

The world is full of talented and highly intelligent people that have failed and went on to live lives — that they know — are well below their potential.

But what about the ones that are less talented and go on to take the ultimate prize?

Or how about the ones that were at the right place at the right time because of the people they knew?

What did they really do differently that made them more successful than those who were more talented than they were, and more intelligent than they were?

They were obsessed.

Not with winning, but with execution.

They made the small mundane tasks, that no one else wants to bother with, the center of their focus.

The lives of human beings, as we come to observe them in public, are a very small portion of the iceberg that remains submerged under the surface. These “less likely to succeed” individuals knew they weren’t untouchable and that they actually were susceptible to failure —and that’s why they prepared behind the scenes and made execution of the small things their focus.

They knew that the real reward was in the execution itself, and thats where they redirected their eye sights after knowing that they wanted to win, and why they wanted to win.

They are the prime example of what happens when preparation meets with opportunity.

My goal at one time was to box for the All Navy Boxing team. I had a 8 hour work schedule at the time, so I was able to train at a local boxing gym 6 days a week.

I was apart of a gym that had 3 National Amateur Boxing champions and 2 professional boxers. One of the professional boxers fought on the undercard of the Canelo Alvarez and Caesar Chavez title fight on Pay Per View. He was the fight right before the main event.

That boy had talent!

Everyday I had to mentally prepare to spar him as I did the day before — and I was terrified every single time that I stepped in the ring with him.

Sparring Manuel “Tino” Avila forced me to work on the basics outside of the gym. He didn’t take it easy on me, not even a little bit.

I was at home shadow boxing. I would go to my base gym and run 5 to 6 miles on the treadmill to make sure my conditioning was good, so I could spar 3 rounds a piece between him and two other highly skilled amateur boxers in the gym. By the end of each gym session, I sparred 9 rounds, 3 minute rounds a piece.

My coach was probably the meanest man I have ever met, but he believed in me and he would have never agreed to train me, unless he felt that I was “really a fighter” and that I was talented enough to hang with the “big boys”.

I had dreams of going to the 2016 Olympics, but injuries and transferring to Japan sidelined me, for the last half of 2015 and the whole of 2016.

I’ve learned my most valuable lessons in life from the mentally and physically demanding sport of boxing.

I learned to pay special attention to things like my stance. If I didn’t have the proper stance, I couldn't generate enough power from the ground to turn into my punches.

I had to master my left jab, so that I could snap out a punch fast enough and with enough force to keep my opponent at bay, and to set him for my right hand.

I had to master throwing my right hand, so that I could make my opponent respect my power and command generalship in the ring.

I made these basic fundamentals my obsession.

In the beginning, everyone that wants to compete in any martial art just wants to hop in the “ring” and fight right away. In boxing, that’s how you get seriously hurt or knocked out by a fighter that has actually taken the time to work on the small things and perfect their craft.

Before I gave up boxing to transfer to my current base in Japan, I won most of my fights — the others I was robbed, but that’s a different story and still a sore spot.

In every fight, I did extremely well, because I had woven the basics into my muscle and brain memory so often through constant execution, that I didn’t have to think about what I was going to do next. It was a synchronized dance when ever I fought — and it was all because I made executing the basics of boxing my main obsession

I have taken everything I’ve learned from boxing, into every area of my life.

As much as I would like to skip ahead to the “big picture” with my personal goals, I have to pace myself and focus on execution.

I have to become so obsessed with following through to completion on every task I begin, that the rewards and the outcome that I want sneak up on me.

If my focus is on anything except the task in front of me, I risk meeting with failure. I gain to lose more by completing a task, solely for the rewards, as opposed to completing the task because I hold myself to a higher standard — and because I love what I do.

When we fall in love with execution, whether its in small things or when its “show time” — winning happens naturally.

We have a saying in boxing that goes like this:


Train hard. Win easy.

When you make execution your focus, as you’re perfecting your craft, you become real fluid and smooth. You don’t have to think about it. Those small victories in private become those legendary victories that people never forget.
In the Navy, we also have a saying that goes like this:


Slow is smooth, smooth is fast.

When you take your time with learning or practicing your craft, you become real smooth, as if you’re not even trying. As you stay consistent, something that you use to move at a snail pace with, you begin to do it lightening fast and effectively— because you made execution your main obsession.

Whether your goal is to go viral, end up on a big stage some where or earn a living decent enough to live comfortably, what you do doesn’t count when everyone is watching.

No.

Not when people are reading your posts.

Not when the curtains rise and the spot light is suddenly upon you.

And most certainly not when your boss is looking for someone to give a raise to.

It matters now!

It matters right now, when no one is watching.

It matters every single day when there’s nothing else left on your plate to do.

It matters when you think you’re good enough already and you’ve mastered the basics.

It matters the most when you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel — and you’ll thank yourself for doing it when you can’t see the silver lining in the cloud — because one day someone is going to give you your shot.

One day, your current condition won’t be as bad as what it is and that pain you feel right now will eventually go away.

The underdog always has the advantage, because they have more than enough time on their hands to master their obsession with execution.


Success occurs, when opportunity meets with preparation. — Zig Ziglar

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WRITTEN BY
Paul Scott Jr
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Human. Father. Navy veteran. Author.

Our Unhealthy Obsession with Winning

Our Unhealthy Obsession with Winning

Tony Schwartz
August 01, 2012

It’s impossible not to admire the discipline, focus, willingness to sacrifice and grace under pressure exhibited by the Olympic champions. Even so, there’s something about the relentless focus on winning — and more specifically, our shared reverence for “winners” — that leaves me feeling deeply uneasy.

You can’t help but feel the heartbreak when an Olympic athlete falls just short of winning: Taylor Phinney missing a medal by inches in Olympic cycling; Allison Schmitt losing the gold medal by 3/10ths of a second in the 400 meter freestyle in swimming; four U.S. archers losing the gold to Italy on the final arrow, by a single point.

But does falling a tiny bit short make these athletes losers unworthy of our admiration? Are the winners of these competitions different from them in any meaningful way? Is winning all it’s cracked up to be?

I’m not out to rain on the parade of extraordinary athletes who manage to win an Olympic gold medal. I’m also not a fan of competitions for children in which everyone gets a medal just for showing up. I just want to suggest the limitations of a “winner take all” mentality, not just in the Olympics but in our culture as a whole.

Let’s start with the limitations for the winners themselves. The pursuit of any challenging goal is usually long and difficult, but the pleasure of the victory tends to be fleeting. As any gambler knows, there is more pain in losing than there is pleasure in winning. I say this not only from interviewing high achievers for several decades, but also from some experience of my own.

I was lucky enough — and luck had a lot to do with it — to have a couple of the books I’ve written reach number one on bestseller lists. These were enjoyable milestones, to be sure — confirmation of a certain kind of accomplishment and exhilarating when they occurred. But they were also just moments in time. Very quickly they became yesterday’s news.

Just consider a winner such as Michael Phelps, who decided to move on from swimming after winning his 8 gold medals in Beijing four years ago. Very quickly, he found himself in a depression that lasted until he got back in the water and started training again, presumably hoping to recapture the feeling of satisfaction he’d lost so quickly. Whatever happens in these Olympics, Phelps must face the same question again once his races are over. “Is there anything in life so disenchanting as attainment?” asked the poet Robert Louis Stevenson.

The glib answer is failure, but the real issue is that we’ve defined winning in a way that promises far more than it can deliver. We push children who show a glimmer of talent to focus in one sport, before they’re teenagers, and even to sacrifice their bodies, so that they might become champions. We tell teenagers that the key to success is getting into a top-rated college, even though there are hundreds of schools at which it’s possible to get a great education. When they graduate, society tells them that a key measure of achievement is financial success, and too often they pursue it believing that more and more money will eventually translate into happiness.

Even if any of this was true — and I’ve seen precious little evidence it is — the way we’ve defined winning makes it attainable only for a tiny percentage of people, and even then demands a kind of single-minded focus that can create a narrow and limited life.

How can we redefine winning so there are more ways to do it, and it’s more satisfying? 

A few suggestions:

Winners are people who consistently invest effort, persevere, and keep getting better at whatever it is they do — regardless of whether they win anything. 

Winners have goals, which provide direction and motivation, but recognize that the ongoing satisfaction comes from the everyday experience of moving towards any given goal. 

Winners are people who aren’t afraid to lose — and they learn and grow from it. “I missed more than 9000 shots in my career,” says Michael Jordan. “26 times I was trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” 

Winners use their skills not just to build their own value, but also to add value in the world — to give back and pay forward. Jimmy Connors and Andre Agassi both won the same number of Grand Slam tournaments during their careers. Connors invested in casinos after he retired from tennis. Agassi invested in building a charitable foundation, a charter school, and a residence for abused and neglected children in Las Vegas. For my money, only one of them is a real winner.

What winners recognize, above all, is that the ultimate goal is never to vanquish an opponent or to prove something to others, but rather to more fully realize their own potential, whatever that may be.

Editor’s note: Rosabeth Moss Kanter argues that real benefits accrue to winners — benefits that help them keep winning. What do you think? Read her post and let us know.



Tony Schwartz is the president and CEO of The Energy Project and the author of The Way We’re Working Isn’t Working. Become a fan of The Energy Project on Facebook.